Archives for January 2021

COVID-19 with a Baby: Days 4, 5 & 6

January 31, 2021 Leave a Comment

I am so sorry for the total lack of update. When my symptoms set in, they set in hard. I have felt so bad that I honestly just had no desire at all to look at a screen and type, or form coherent sentences. I know many have been concerned by my quiet, and I am so sorry if that worried anyone! Just trying to make it through over here.

We had a scare two nights ago where Lillie’s Owlet alerted us that her oxygen had dropped too low. I got her up and nursed her, adjusted the fit and put her back to bed. Her levels came up and never dropped again, so I tried not to worry. I’ve said it before and I will say it again, having an Owlet when you have a baby this small is worth every single penny and then some. So thankful that we have it!

She is in good spirits and working on her walking! I am running out of things to entertain her though, so I may have to have daddy do a toy swap and just be okay with contaminating more. Her fever has been much easier to manage and we have even been able to skip doses of fever meds. It really is just little spikes here or there and even then it isn’t getting too high.

She did break out in a red rash all over her body for a day or two. It got particularly bad the night before last and I had made plans to call her pediatrician the next morning to ask if that was normal. Surprisingly, it was gone the next day completely!

I have had all of the typical COVID symptoms, as well as a few I wasn’t expecting. Achy body, deep cough, headache, weird taste…those I was expecting. I’ve had this sensation like you get when you take a huge sip of scalding hot water. My entire mouth and tongue feel raw and burnt. I also have the sinus pain that you get when you get water up your nose and it is pretty much constant. It seems a little bit better this morning, so I am hoping to be turning a corner, too. The other thing that I have been dealing with is this deep, to my bones, cold feeling. Not like your typical fever chills. Just so, so cold and I can’t warm up. The only thing that helps is a hot bath and then when I get out, I am cold again.

We have been taking lots of hot steamy showers together. It seems to help her and me both, and I am enjoying the snuggle time (don’t worry, she isn’t in the stream of the water unless I make it less hot and steamy 🙂 ). Vapor baths are also really helping.

As much as it stinks being away from Michael and Addie, I am trying to see the silver lining when I can. I am getting one on one time with Lillie that I have not ever gotten in her life. I am learning new things about her little personality and she is developing before my eyes. Sure, it’s taking every spare bit of energy I can muster to entertain and care for her when she is awake, but its been really a sweet time in spite of everything.

Please pray for Addie, and for Michael. They are still well, and for that we are so grateful. I can tell that it’s wearing on them a bit. She has her moments where she is melting down and I think a lot of it is just separation from Mama and being thrown off. She pushes her daddy’s buttons when she gets this way and it’s hard to get her back on track. For Michael just juggling housework, caring for her, trying to be gracious, bringing me and Lillie everything we need, etc. I know how exhausting it is. And as anyone with a two year old knows, it is really hard to care for them by yourself and never get a break.

So sorry for the novel. This is what 3 days of updates looks like! Thank you guys so much for all of the love, support and prayers. We are so grateful for you!

Just joining? Read previous days below!

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

COVID-19 with a Baby: Day 3

January 28, 2021 Leave a Comment

This image was the affirmation that popped up on my phone last night, and it was so timely. My results came back yesterday shortly after I wrote my Day 2 update, and sadly I am positive. It was to be expected, but it still made me very anxious.

I have started having symptoms: achy muscles, fatigue, cough, headache, sore throat and today I have the sensation of getting water up my nose and I cannot shake it. No fever yet.

Lillie’s fever has been much more manageable thankfully! She is, however, very fussy today which is not like her. I can tell she isn’t feeling very well, and her poor little tummy is still very upset. I was unable to get her to eat much for breakfast, but she is staying hydrated. We took a warm shower last night and that seemed to help us both. We are also running the humidifier with Vicks drop ins and that made a big difference for me.

Addie’s test came back negative this morning, and for that I am so thankful! It does mean that we will continue to be separate for the full two weeks. This is super hard because she is so little and doesn’t understand, but I know we are doing the right thing. She cried and cried last night, but we were able to do a long FaceTime call and that helped.

I am so thankful for Michael and how selfless he has been through this! He has been my personal room service, chef and errand boy. He is managing a very thrown off 2 year old and he is keeping the house clean. He is the real MVP!

Thank you so much to all of our friends, family and even strangers that have reached out. We are so grateful for the love and support. We are weathering the storm and know that this too, shall pass. I’d love to write more, or bring some deep inspirational word, but ya’ll my head hurts and I just want to nap. So that’s what I’m gonna go do! 🙂

If you’re just starting to follow us, read

Day 1 HERE

Day 2 HERE!

COVID-19 with a Baby: Day 2

January 27, 2021 Leave a Comment

Day 2 update! I did my COVID test at the drive-thru window of CVS last night. It honestly wasn’t nearly as bad as I hyped it up in my head. We will be waiting to hear back on that…they said it could be 2-4 business days.

Addilyn was tested at her peds office and they also said 2-3 business days. She was SO brave, ya’ll! She didn’t even cry. Im so proud of my little love bug. So far she and Michael are asymptomatic and fever free. Praying continually for their protection!

Last night was very rough. Lillie was up every hour and super fussy/uncomfortable. She still has an upset tummy this morning, but is nursing, drinking pedialyte and eating at least a little bit of solid food. Thankfully, the fever seems to be a little better managed and is only going up if I let too much time pass between meds. Before, it was still low-grade even with the Motrin/Tylenol so I am calling that a win! Poor girl seems like her ears are bothering her and has developed a pretty yuck diaper rash from all the messy diapers. All things considered, she is in good spirits!

Now for the stinky part. Mama is showing symptoms this morning. I knew it was highly likely. I mean how can you even remotely avoid the saliva of a teething, nursing 10 month old? Even if my test is negative, I will likely act as though it was positive and assume I maybe tested too early. I have a cough, headache and body aches. Mostly I am feeling some anxiety over the whole thing, and just clinging to 2 Timothy 1:7. Please continue to pray for my anxiety and for symptoms to stay on the mild side.

Even if Addie’s test is positive, as long as she is not showing symptoms we will continue to separate. This is just what we feel is best for now. I cannot even fathom risking making her sick. I do miss my baby so much though! We got to FaceTime this morning and that was good for everyone.

Now for some heart talk, you guys. I really was struggling last night. I felt so guilty. How in the world did I allow my 10 month old to get this? Did I fail her as her mother? Did I slip up and not keep her safe? Are people judging me?? The mom guilt was eating me alive. No one wants to feel responsible for their child’s suffering.

And then I opened up my Bible and spent some time in prayer. And you know what? God spoke a truth into my heart. This happened because He allowed it. I don’t have to be afraid, because He is in control. There is a purpose in all of this. So if you’re a mama reading this and feeling that same mom guilt, I want you to hear that too. This is no one’s fault. It is just something that happens. There is absolutely NO way to know where she picked it up, despite our best efforts. It could have been at her well child check up. It could have been visitors in passing. It could have been one single germ that was on my hand after running into the store. We do the best we can and we have to trust Him with the rest.

Thank you all for the continued prayers and outpouring of love. I am humbled. From a friend running a meal by, to groceries dropped off, to gifts and comfort items, a hair dryer because our only one was here with me, an Amazon wish list to send essentials, gift cards to buy essentials.I am blown away by the amazing tribe of people who have shown us love, even people that do not know us well. God is good and I am humbled.

If you're just following along, read about Day 1 here!

COVID-19 with a Baby: Day 1

January 26, 2021 Leave a Comment

Yesterday I got the phone call that I have been praying for the last 11 months I would never get. My sweet 10 1/2 month old baby tested positive for COVID-19.

My mama heart is struggling, but I know that God is good and He will use this for His glory. I’m writing this series of posts to share our experience in dealing with this awful sickness in hopes that it will help another mama to navigate it as well.

So how do we get here? Since Liliana was born we have been on lockdown. We have been cautious almost to the point of being neurotic. We don’t go out unless we have to. I do porch pick up for my orders. We wear our masks. We take our supplements. Honestly? I could not tell you where she picked this up. There are a few possibilities, but no known exposure.

She has been cutting her top teeth so a low-grade fever is nothing new around here. The other night she was making odd grunting noises when I would put her in her crib and had had a little bit of tummy upset but it was nothing I was super concerned about. (MAJOR shout out to the Owlet Smart Sock for giving this mama peace of mind! Worth every cent and then some, especially when they are sick like this.)

Fast forward to Sunday morning, and she didn’t really seem to want her breakfast, but again I just assumed that was teething. Her mood was fine. She was her usual happy self. At lunch she would not even touch foods that she typically loves. About 10 minutes after trying to convince her to eat, she projectile vomited all over the kitchen, her highchair, me, herself… You get the picture. Not pretty! This was my first clue that some thing may be going on. I cleaned her up and got her down for her nap and she seemed OK. After waking up she did a few really messy diapers but her fever was still very low grade.

She ate a little bit of dinner, so I was assuming maybe it was just something bothering her tummy or maybe a sensitivity to a new food. After dinner we were playing and Michael said that he thought she felt warm. I used our rectal thermometer to take her temperature for accuracy, and it came back 101.8. I placed a call to her pediatrician and he told us to alternate Motrin and Tylenol throughout the night and have her seen at the office on Monday.

The fever was still present even on Motrin and Tylenol but was manageable. That morning when I checked her it had actually dropped to 95.3, so I made sure to mention that when I called to make an appointment. Right before we went to the doctor that afternoon, her fever was back up to 101.something and I went ahead and took her for the curbside check up.

Her pediatrician looked in her ears and said that she had a nasty double ear infection but combined with the Gastrointestinal issues, he was concerned. He mentioned that with babies this little, a lot of times they’re seeing ear infections as a secondary side effect from an upper respiratory/COVID viral infection. Because of that, he decided to order a rapid Covid test as well while we started the antibiotics.

We came home and she took a nap. When she woke her fever was up to 102.6, so I gave her more Motrin and a warm bath. By bedtime the doctor called to let me know that her test result was positive. Because none of the rest of us have had symptoms, I am quarantining with her in our master suite and Michael is taking care of the two-year-old in the rest of the house. We are all being tested today to see how we should move forward. If Addilyn‘s test is negative then Lillie and I will stay quarantined by ourselves for the full 14 days. The pediatrician did say that if Addie’s is positive, there’s no reason that we can’t all quarantine together.

So that’s where we are! Today is Tuesday, and everything is much the same. Lillie still has a fever and is having diarrhea. Her appetite hasn’t really returned, but thankfully she’s nursing well and drinking the Pedialyte. As of now, I am still asymptomatic but do have a slight scratchy throat (this is nothing new. I have had this for months).

I’m asking everyone for prayers for healing and protection as we navigate this, and I plan to do a daily update! For now, I am enjoying some one on one time with my baby, and trusting that my sweet husband is enjoying some special one on one time with my biggie girl. My mama heart hates to be away from her, especially last night when she was crying to kiss Lillie and me goodnight. God has a plan. He is good.

Don’t Let the Storm Take Your Focus Off of Jesus.

January 21, 2021 Leave a Comment

I was reading in my bible this morning in the book of Matthew. The story that we all know about Jesus walking on water to His disciples and Peter stepping out of the boat. I have read and heard this story at least a thousand times. I did the craft at vacation Bible school. I have dug into the truth of the story as an adult.

But it hit me different this morning. Maybe because life feels like one giant storm right now? Maybe because our world is in the most tumultuous state that it’s been in in our lifetime. Our country is so divided. We are isolated and quarantined and lonely. Maybe it’s because big things have come up in my own personal life that are asking me to have big faith in Jesus to work it out.

Maybe you are there too, my friend. Maybe the political climate has you discouraged. Maybe you are lonely. Maybe your marriage is on the rocks. Maybe your children aren’t speaking to you right now. Maybe you have lost a parent. Maybe you have lost a child. Maybe you are struggling through month after month of infertility and you are feeling the weight of life. Maybe your depression is threatening to pull you under the waves and you just aren’t sure where your faith is or how much more you can bear.

This is where it hit me. So how do we survive the storms in life that feel like they are about to swallow us up? God spoke this very simple and yet incredibly profound truth to me this morning: Don’t let the storm take your eyes off of Jesus.

It really is as simple as that. Peter was in a hopeless situation. He was asked to step out into some really scary, big, impossible circumstances and there was never any way that He was going to be able to do them on his own. No amount of flailing his arms or peddling his legs was ever going to propel him across the top of the water. He never stood a chance in his own strength. When he was called out of the boat, he was destined to sink. IF he took his eyes off of Jesus.

When we feel like this life or our circumstances are beyond what we can handle, all that we have to do is lean in and He will meet us where we are. Jesus didn’t ask Peter to figure out his own way to get to Him before He would help. He saw that the wind and waves were too much and reached out His hand.

Friend, if you don’t know Jesus, or you have questions, please message me. Seek out a believer friend that you are comfortable with. The hope and love and grace and peace that He brings is simply too great for you to miss out on.

If you know Him…Don’t let the storm take your focus off of Jesus.

When Things Don’t Go As Planned

January 19, 2021 Leave a Comment

Sometimes our plans and timelines don’t match God’s plans and timelines. It can be a hard pill to swallow in the season. When He says wait, no matter how badly your heart wants to skip ahead. If I have learned one thing as an adult, it is that we can ALWAYS trust that He knows best for us, even if it doesn’t make sense. We can only see what is right in front of our face. He can see the entire map of our life, all the way to our final breath.

God. Knows. Best. I’m preaching this to myself today in the face of pauses that are not my own. In His infinite love, He works all things for our good and His glory. Trials are just testimony builders 💪🏻